Things my kid says

Setup:  Miles insulted Nate earlier in the day. He didn’t mean it that way it came out, but I said that he should say something nice about Nate to help me feel better. He refused,  but he did apologize. That evening, the boys were taking out the trash when….
Miles: Dad, run fast.
Nate: I can’t
Miles: Ha! It’s ‘cause your sandals don’t have any straps. Pansy!
(Miles runs around the corner, and peeks back)
Miles: Uhm.. Dad, you have a handsome face! (with a cheesy smile)
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Setup: Miles and I were playing catch with a football in the living room.  I dropped it.
Miles: Mom, Nice catch – NOT!
Kelly: What?!
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Setup: Driving across Iowa for the weekend, nearing Montour.
Miles: Do you see all that grass? What are we in? Do you know?
Kelly: Uhm…
Miles: We see no big buildings because we’re in the country!
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Setup(s): Here are a couple of other conversations while driving across Iowa…. this time on the way home.
Miles: Get me some food in here!!
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Kelly: Miles, look out the window.  Do you see that big river?
Miles: Yeah, the bridge helps us cross the water and stay dry.
Nate: Yup, and when we cross the river, we are in Illinois.  Iowa is on one side of the river and Illinois is on the other.
Miles: Illinois?
Kelly: Yeah, buddy. Remember we live in Chicago, IL.  We are closer to home.
Miles: Yeah. You’re right because we live on Earth, right Dad?
Nate: Ha… yeah.
~~~~~
Apparently, the car was a little too silent. He broke out with his own version of this.
Miles: Para, para, paradise. Para, para, paradise. O-O-O-O-oooo!
It seems as though Bieber’s Baby Oh isn’t the only ‘slow jam’ Miles has in his back pocket…..
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Setup: The Cubbies were playing on TV and w on!  I chimed in and sang along..
Kelly: Go Cubs Go. Go Cubs Go. Hey, Chicago, whattya say! Cubs are gonna win today!
Miles chimed in with the next chorus, but sang….
Miles: Go Cubs Go. Go Cubs Go. Hey, Chicago, whattya say! Cubs are gonna win SOMEDAY! Ha Ha.
Kelly: Grr!  You are a stinker!
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Setup: Miles and Nate were getting ready to take the dog out…
Miles: Dad, what is car in Spanish?
Nate: I don’t know.
Miles: Mom knows. She’s smart.
After the dog trip….
Miles: Mom, what is car in Spanish?
Kelly: Coche
Miles: Turns to dad.  See, told ya!
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Setup: Miles and Nate were playing basketball in the living room when Miles had to take a quick potty break. The dialogue begins with Miles barking orders from the bathroom.
Miles: DAD – I don’t hear you playing.
Nate: What?
Miles: DAD – I don’t hear you playing. He runs into the room.
Nate: I didn’t hear you.
Miles: You need to practice so you can get better and better and better and you might beat me sometime.
Nate: Ha! Ok, Buddy.
Miles: Ok, now I gotta go back and flush my turd.

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